im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
