what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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