Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
