It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
