Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
