thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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