i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
