you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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