do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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