I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
