Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
