the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
