He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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