Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
