I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How does one acquire holy water?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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