yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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