fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
