I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
