the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
