New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
