You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
