I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have aggressive nipples.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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