i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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