He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
