1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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