ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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