sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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