We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
