Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
