i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
