I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
