After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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