you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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