I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
