that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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