those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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