Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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