did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
