i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
my liver is dry heaving
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
