I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
