Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
