I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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