just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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