I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
