i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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