It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
