I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
