I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want is dick and wine.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
