Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
