I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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