I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
