She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
either way he was missing a nipple.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
