I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
